Okay so it took me about a half hour to figure out how to log into my own account; clearly I am failing at this blogging shizz. I'm working on it though and since I won't be starting a new life for a new weeks, I figured I'd express myself rather than vent.
I'll never lie about anything I'm feeling, but at the same time I'm the type girl who doesn't express every single thought and feeling because it's hard for me to vulnerable. Call me a coward or ridiculous but it's just the way I am. I don't think I've let in anyone completely into my thoughts. It might be the reason I end up alone as a cat lady but so be it.
I can't be the type of person that wears her heart on her sleeve because that girl looks back at her life years later and begins to regret all the thinks she wish she could have done differently; is there things I wish would have done differently? Absolutely.
I can even name those 2 things: I wish I hadn't purposely pushed away the only person I saw myself spending the rest of my life with & I wish I hadn't wasted my time with a certain jerk (he was definitely was the wrong guy for me). See I know what my regrets as but we all have a thing or maybe a few things we regret; either we choose to dwell over them or we choose to be a different person who never has anything to regret.
Do I have moments when I feel alone because I keep everyone at a distance? Hell yeah, but I once heard someone say it's a "lonely road to the top" and that's all that matters to me in the end.
Not whose next to me lending a shoulder to cry on but how far I got in life & if I'm standing at the finish line alone, at least I know I made it there.
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